Bride of the Living Dummy

I’ll admit, I approached *Bride of the Living Dummy* with the jaded skepticism of someone who’s heard one too many ‘evil doll’ stories. But within minutes, Cassandra Morris’s narration had me hooked—not just because she nails Slappy’s signature rasp (a mix of gravel and smug superiority), but because she *commits* to the bit. When Maryellen coos, ‘*Darling*,’ it’s equal parts sugar and arsenic, and Morris sells it without a hint of irony. The production is clean, with just enough atmospheric echoes to heighten the creepiness during Slappy’s monologues, though I wished for slightly more dynamic range in the sound design (a few more eerie whispers or distant giggles could’ve elevated the scares). The story itself is a masterclass in escalation. Stine doesn’t waste time: by Chapter 3, we’ve got possessed scissors, a sentient wedding dress, and a dummy *proposal* that’s somehow both romantic and horrifying. The pacing is breakneck, but that’s also its one flaw—some gags feel rushed, like Stine had a quota of pranks to hit. And while the ending delivers the expected Goosebumps twist, it leans a little *too* hard on deus ex machina. Still, the sheer audacity of the premise (a *dummy wedding*?) and Morris’s infectious energy make this a standout. It’s the kind of audiobook that’ll have kids giggling under their blankets and adults smirking at the sheer absurdity. Just don’t blame me if you side-eye your childhood toys afterward.