Do Gay Teenage Vampires Dream of Kissing Boys?

I’ll admit, I side-eyed the Virtual Voice narration at first. No human warmth? No breathy romantic tension? But by chapter three, I was sold—because this isn’t a sweeping gothic epic; it’s a snarky, introspective story about a boy falling for someone who might kill him, and the flat, almost clinical delivery makes Alex’s emotional spikes hit harder. When the narration *doesn’t* emote, you feel the weight of lines like *“I didn’t know if I wanted him to bite me or kiss me, and that was the problem”* all the more. Shawn’s writing shines in the details: the way Alex’s best friend calls him out for his “tragic gay vampire crush” with equal parts affection and exasperation, or how Kyle’s vampirism isn’t some grand metaphor but a *logistical nightmare* (seriously, the scene where they argue about consent and blood type is *chef’s kiss*). That said, the pacing stumbles in the second act. The middle drags with repetitive internal monologues about Alex’s self-worth, and the Virtual Voice’s monotony occasionally makes exposition feel like a Wikipedia entry. I also wished the side characters—especially Alex’s fiercely protective bestie—had more depth; their dialogue sparkles, but they fade into the background too easily. Still, the final act delivers a satisfyingly messy resolution that avoids both saccharine happiness and tragic queer suffering. For fans of *They Both Die at the End*’s emotional rawness or *Carmilla*’s snarky supernatural romance, this is a fresh, flawed gem. Just maybe don’t listen on 1.5x speed—the narration’s quirks demand your full attention.