Goldilocks and the Three Bears - The Autobiography of Goldie Locks

I’ll admit, I side-eyed the concept at first—*another* fairy tale retelling? But Krikorian’s *Goldie Locks* isn’t here to charm you; it’s here to corner you at a dive bar at 2 a.m. and unspool her life story between drags of a cigarette. The audiobook’s greatest triumph is its narration: Virtual Voice delivers Goldie’s monologue with the perfect mix of exhaustion and mischief, like a narrator who’s *over* the story but can’t resist one last jab at the audience. The pacing is deliberately uneven—some chapters sprint through Goldie’s “15 minutes of fame” with manic energy, while others linger on her post-fable obscurity with a poignant drag. It’s a risky choice, but it mirrors the protagonist’s erratic, self-sabotaging charm. That said, the humor won’t land for everyone. Krikorian’s jokes rely on a deep well of fairy-tale lore and a taste for cynicism (a running gag about the Bears’ Yelp reviews had me snorting, but your mileage may vary). My biggest critique? The middle act sags under its own cleverness—Goldie’s digressions into bear sociology and celebrity culture occasionally feel like padding, and the Virtual Voice’s monotone, while fitting, can make these sections drag. Still, the payoff—a fourth-wall-shattering climax that recontextualizes the entire tale—is worth the slog. This isn’t an audiobook for passive listeners; it’s for those who like their satire with teeth and their fairy tales with a chaser of regret.